"Unofficial" Hoboken Division Humor Page
(at least we think this stuff is funny)

Ten reasons you should not become a union officer

1) The 2AM phone call from the member who says, "We put a bunch of cars on the ground and they want to pee-test us. What should we do?"
2) You’ll find out who your real friends are. (This could get scary.)
3) Having your spouse say, "If I was one of your damned members, you wouldn't treat me this way" and knowing she's right.
4) Spending 97% of your time representing the same 3% of the membership, repeatedly.
5) Listening to that same 3% bad-mouth the union.
6) Having to actually read an agreement, instead of letting some engineer tell you what it says.
7) Everybody thinks you know somebody in organized crime.
8) No one shows up for meetings, but they all ask you what happened.
9) Trying to justify the bus.
10) Trying to remember what it was like to have a life.

Courses for self improvement now available!

Ever wonder where management gets that special knowledge of railroading that gives them an aura of importance that is instantly recognizable in even at the most crowded investigation proceeding? They probably earned it by taking an Associate Degree in Railroad Management at The Eastern Lackawanna County Agricultural and Technical University where you can take courses that will help you climb to the top of the railroad corporate bureaucracy.
Discover the lighter side of railroading!
Even more important is the air of authority and righteousness that comes with having entrée into the rarefied atmosphere in which the Captains of the Railroad Industry move daily. Check here to find answers to the kind of insightful, probing questions that strip back the superficial outer layers of the railway industry's corporate management and reveal the truth about this segment of Industrial America's actual agenda. The name of the railroad has been changed to protect the innocent; the attitudes are real!

Our intrepid investigative report has been snooping around the dumpster in back of the headquarters building in search of interesting facts surrounding the management mystique at NJ Transit. He has come up with a golden find. Please excuse the condition of this press release. After all, it was found in a dumpster

Have you had the opportunity to experience intercity travel by rail?
Not until you have experienced a trip on Amtrek, the railroad with an attitude!

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